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Humans are a unique species in that we are wired for both monogamy and polyamory. I am definitely monogamous, when I image being in a polyamorous relationship I quickly understand that my response would be to give up and go find someone who wants to be monogamous.It was refreshing to hear that we are hardwired for both, with some people tending towards monogamy and others towards polyamory.My therapist gave me a similar image; an invisible force-field protecting me from those who are attempting to violate my emotional boundaries.Sexual identity: some lesser known sexual identities, that I tend to identify with are Demisexuals and Graysexuals.Contains many exercises and questions to think, talk, or write about, on your own or with a partner.Read this book to learn vital life skills like listening to your body and your gut, setting boundaries, and communicating your needs. This book speaks to so many of the possible ways of being intimate with yourself and others.However, if we don't determine our own boundaries, the world will decide for us and that might put us in some terrible situations, so boundary awareness and establishment is essential to a happy life.(p 75) So, what if someone does not respect your boundaries? However, if circumstances require that you have some interaction with this person, Harper recommends imagining a clear pane of glass between you and the boundary-violator.
All Paid users can message and post and they also have added benefits.If you're looking to heal from past wounds, make better choices, or improve an existing relationship, this book is for you. Whether you're queer, straight, trans, ace, demi, aro, are dealing with past abuse or societal bullshit, or have no freaking clue what's going on with you yet, Dr. I was looking for something deeper, maybe more spiritual or psychological, but this book still had some value despite being focused on a the more physical aspects of intimacy.My very favorite chapter is "Date Like a Grown Up" (pp 135-55).In a place like Portland, Oregon, I often feel like I'm wrong and old-fashioned for being monogamous, but it's simply my nature.
BDSM: I was surprised to find that I identified with many of the facets of BDSM, so this is section deserves several paragraphs.
This should be required reading for anyone who ever plans on dating. For me the takeaways from this chapter were to beware the oxytocin trap, especially during the first 3-4 months.