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This trickle continued for the next year and two months, averaging two messages a day.

I didn’t just wait to be noticed: I also actively messaged others.

Over the following months, I would play with this slightly: I variously described myself as a dreamer, book lover, learner, educator, and writer, someone who views the world with a glass half-full of optimism and a dash of sarcasm.

I noted that my friends describe me as “sincere and hilarious,” “fun to do things with,” and “a great trivia partner.” I peppered my profile with jokes and references to climbing, yoga, learning, eating all of the things, and drinking all of the drinks.

The most mathematically promising one—at 99.5 percent—turned out to be one of my existing friends from law school.

But almost immediately, I began to notice peculiarities about my experience.

You may also start talking to someone only to realize that you are no longer interested in getting to know them better.

Like many singles, I had created an online dating profile. Now I decided to take it more seriously—these days, I seem to hear fewer and fewer stories of real life meet-cutes.I liked the concept of Ok Cupid’s “match percentages.” The site projects the compatibility of its users, assessing it on a scale from 1 to 100.I was a high match with a seemingly large number of men—quite a few of them were in the 99 percent range.A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.



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